How Affirmations Helped Me Heal from PTSD & Psychosis - by Meli G

I love myself. I love myself. I love myself.

Maybe I sound conceited ;)

But as you were reading those phrases - you were absorbing those loving messages into your own consciousness.

I love mantras. I love affirmations too.

I’ve been using mantras and affirmations - on and off - for many years. But in the Fall of 2025, I experienced a manic episode that upended my entire life. I was involuntarily placed in a psych ward at Woodhull Hospital in Bed-Stuy, Brooklyn (shout out to anyone who knows this area!).

It wasn’t my first episode of manic psychosis. But this episode in 2025 shook me to my core. And that’s saying something. I had already been through hell once.

In 2017, I experienced mania after enduring severe trauma and PTSD. To make a long story somewhat short, I was going through a lot of changes following a blissful spiritual awakening experience, along with a “spontaneous kundalini awakening,” for those of you who are familiar (it’s a whirlwind). Soon after I began experiencing a lot of stress from life events including family illness and deaths, job loss, and I was recently divorced. A lot of trauma was also surfacing for healing, which often follows awakening experiences, along with “dark nights of the soul”.

I was also a recovering alcoholic (in AA for many years) and then relapsed. I also started using other substances that neighbors offered me. I wasn’t addicted and I never bought anything, but they were affecting me. I was working on my codependency at the time, but I still had a long way to go. I was a bleeding heart empath and activist, who was just beginning to understand and implement boundaries. A wounded healer, if you will.

Unfortunately this set the stage for me to be completely conned, used, and physically and psychologically abused. I was trying to help people. I also wanted company because I was taking space from my family as I was healing from my codependency. I was an easy target. I didn’t know a thing about discernment. I was overly trusting.

It started out by inviting neighbors over to hang out. I lived in a cheap - but cool - apartment complex in Gainesville, FL. But right across the fence from my apartment was a Section 8 apartment complex. I had become friends with some people there. I’m the type of person who can be friends with CEOs and people who are homeless, who are sometimes the smartest people around.

But within a month, my apartment was essentially taken over by addicts and gang members. I didn’t know they were gang members until later on. I was too scared to call the police. I also didn’t know how to explain this to friends. When I mentioned it to a few people, they would say you’re hanging out with the wrong people. But I was already traumatized and felt paralyzed.

During that month, I was psychologically tortured, drugged, and basically “stockholm syndromed.” My 2-story apartment was completely trashed. It was broken into countless times by numerous people. They would move objects around constantly to confuse me. Sometimes people hid out in a closet in a downstairs bedroom (who needed a place to stay). I was physically assaulted on two occasions. One woman threatened me with a big kitchen knife. One man threatened my life. They did much more than this, but you get the picture.

Eventually I found the strength to stand up to them. It was a strength that I didn’t know I had. I stood up to gang members who had threatened me repeatedly. I called them out in front of their friends. I didn’t care at that point. I was done. People had made spare keys to my apartment, but I figured out how to rig the door handles with rope so nobody could enter. Eventually someone called the police after they witnessed a break-in. A man had pulled the sliding glass door off the frame of the building - and was sleeping in my bed. By that point, I had developed full-blown manic psychosis and had been hospitalized. When I got out of treatment, that’s when I decided to move out and live with my parents in the country as I recovered. Thank God for their love and support.

All the while, I came from a loving family, as I just mentioned. We had our struggles and traumas, no doubt. But my family is very supportive. I tell my story because this type of situation is much more common than many of us realize. However, nothing like this ever happened to anyone in my family. I was a college graduate (from the University of Florida - Go Gators!). I had been married to a prominent physician. I’d lived and worked in St. Louis, the Bronx, and Manhattan. I had a moderately successful nonprofit career. I also worked in reentry in the South Bronx and did some work inside Rikers Island and Sing Sing Prison. I thought I was relatively street smart. I’d also been to jail a couple of times because of my alcoholism. But I was completely blindsided by that hellish experience.

Here's a photo of me shortly before all this happened...

I later found out that people across the world go through this. There’s a systematic way to take advantage of vulnerable people and break them down - and even cause psychotic breaks. To cite one specific example, I heard this has happened to some women who attend NYU, where their lives and apartments can be consumed by people exploiting them. It can happen to nearly anyone, given a common set of circumstances.

In the U.S. alone, there are 33,000 gangs. 33,000. Astounding. Imagine what it’s doing to the mental health of our communities?

This issue goes almost completely unaddressed - by design - because too many people (in high places as well) benefit from crime, drugs, prostitution, fraud, and sex & human trafficking. Private prisons are just one industry that profits from crime and misery. And it’s so harmful to gang members themselves (& their families), who experience high levels of PTSD and psychosis because of the trauma they endure. Some of the gang members I met were very intelligent, but didn't have many opportunities to apply their smarts in a healthier way. There are many preventative solutions to this issue. Ultimately we need more support and rites of passage for youth, and adults, to help prevent this from happening. Of course more economic opportunities would help as well. I’ve been poor most of my life and can understand how poverty is a driving factor. Along with the desire for belonging and protection, which has felt severely lacking by the justice systems that are supposed to protect us. Many factors are at play, but these are some of the major ones.

Since 2017, I’ve completely forgiven myself and those who hurt me. I’ve made plenty of mistakes in my day. And we’re all doing our best, given our level of consciousness and integration. I also believe it happened so that I could someday help others who’ve experienced trauma, PTSD, and psychosis.

But after my breakdown in 2025, I had to rebuild myself - again.

I had lost a lot during my manic breakdown in the Fall of 2025. I got rid of everything I owned. I destroyed my phone and laptop (sounds wild but is common for some during psychosis). During my manic episode, I was also physically assaulted by a neighbor (a man with many ties whom I heavily suspect is a gang member). He threatened to have his “sisters” come and “slap the shit out of me.” We had been friendly neighbors at one point. His “cousin” threatened me as well and threw furniture at me on the street. This might sound crazy to some, but not to others. This kind of reality is sadly normal for some people in the U.S.

I realize I have a part to play in everything (and all is forgiven). I also run my mouth too much sometimes, especially when I’m manic. I’ve also been a longtime activist - questioning power - going to protests - standing up to things like vaccine mandates - protesting at Occupy Wall Street - Black Lives Matter - and so on (although I realize many movements are used by "the powers that be" to stir division). I definitely speak my mind, as my blog illustrates. But I also realize that I had unhealed trauma from 2017 that I hadn’t resolved - and life was presenting me with experiences to heal. It might sound strange, but I fully believe this. After that I moved from Brooklyn to Florida, to once again live with my folks while I recovered.

After the delusions and euphoria and adrenaline wore off from my manic episode - I felt horrible about myself. I felt like a failure. I felt so ashamed about my manic behavior in Brooklyn. I completely humiliated myself, publicly. I hurt so many people that I loved. I was miserable for months after my hospitalization. This is ubiquitous for those who’ve experienced psychosis. It’s heartbreaking.

So began my mission to heal as much as possible - and as deeply as possible. I wanted to do everything possible to prevent a recurrent manic episode, for myself and my family.

I also wanted to heal as naturally as possible. I had experienced severe side effects from an antipsychotic medication, which sent me to the ER, so I went off all meds. I'm totally sober too. Thankfully I had the support to make this possible. I realize meds are a sensitive topic, and I fully respect each person’s decision on this subject.

I’ve also been studying ways to heal trauma for many years. I also love self-healing and the whole gamut of holistic healing modalities.

Hence the mantras and affirmations.

I started repeating them in spades about six months ago. It’s been a game changer. I’ve also practiced many other healing techniques to heal trauma and suppressed emotions, but affirmations helped me immensely.

I would go on long walks in my neighborhood and repeat affirmations almost the entire walk. When nobody was around, I would say them aloud :).

Thoughts have power. And words have a lot of power. Anyone who’s ever studied manifestation understands this well.

Other people who understand the efficacy of affirmations and the power of thought are those who work in the following fields: therapy and psychology (esp cognitive behavioral therapy, hypnotherapy & psychoanalysis), advertising/marketing/communications/PR, politics, entertainment, neurolinguistic programming, intelligence agencies, the media, and those who study the occult (including many people in power). This is a partial list.

Our inner-dialogue has a huge impact on our outer reality. Along with our beliefs, which go hand-and-hand with our thoughts.

I’ve heard the average person has 60,000 thoughts per day (not sure if this is true, but we have a lot either way) - and that most of our thoughts are negative and repetitive. Most of us run on autopilot and don’t question our thoughts much.

However, thoughts are shaped by many sources, including our childhood experiences, parents/caregivers, society, and media/news/entertainment/music. Some believe that thoughts can also come from the collective consciousness or the field of consciousness (also the unified or quantum field etc).

Many prominent artists, inventors, and scientists have expressed that their greatest ideas/creations seem to come from a source beyond themselves. Like it arrives as an instant download. Many others believe that the spirit world - and light and dark entities/energies - influence our thoughts (goes deeper than this actually). I believe this as well. Most of the world believes in God and spirits, so it’s quite plausible to many around the globe that our thoughts are influenced by spirits. I examine this in more detail in my piece "Delulu and Beyond - Understanding the Nature of Delusions."

Because so many sources can shape our thoughts, it’s important to be mindful of what we’re focusing on. What we focus on, grows. And as we grow in conscious awareness, we can shift how we talk to ourselves internally - and shift our reality. We can become our own best friend. Our biggest cheerleader. Our biggest supporter. It’s absolutely possible and it’s absolutely amazing when it happens :)

So what are mantras and affirmations?

This article from the website Hilltop Behavioral Health explains them effectively:

“Mantras Explained:

A mantra is a sacred word, phrase, sound, or syllable that is repeated, chanted, or meditated upon as part of spiritual practices. The word “mantra” is derived from the Sanskrit language, where “man” means “mind” or “to think” and “tra” means “tool” or “instrument.”

-- Origin: Mantras have been used for thousands of years in various eastern religions and spiritual traditions, including Hinduism, Buddhism, Jainism, and others.

-- Purpose: The primary purpose of mantras is to focus the mind, exude positive energy, cultivate awareness, and connect with a higher spiritual consciousness. Mantras are believed to have transformative qualities, bringing about a change in consciousness and facilitating spiritual growth.

-- Repetition: Mantras are repeated silently or aloud, often hundreds of times during meditation or spiritual practices. The repetition helps the practitioner enter a state of meditation or heightened awareness.

-- Example: Om (Aum): This is one of the most well-known mantras in Hinduism and Buddhism. It is considered the primordial sound of the universe and is often chanted at the beginning and end of prayers and meditation sessions.

The power and significance of mantras lie not only in the words but also in the intention and focus of the individual chanting or repeating them. The repetition of daily mantras can be a profound way to calm the mind, focus one’s energy, and connect with deeper aspects of consciousness and spirituality.

Positive Affirmations Explained:

Affirmations are positive statements, inspirational quotes, or declarations you can use to challenge negative feelings, thoughts, beliefs, or self-perceptions and replace them with constructive, empowering, and optimistic beliefs. These statements are typically written in the present tense and focus on the desired state or outcome, as if it is already true.

-- Origin: Affirmations have their roots in modern-day psychology and self-help practices.

-- Purpose: The primary purpose of affirmations is to reprogram the subconscious mind and instill positive thoughts and self-beliefs.

-- Repetition: Affirmations are also repeated, but the focus is more on affirming the desired state or outcome in a conscious and intentional way. They can be repeated verbally, written down, and displayed in visible places to serve as constant reminders.

-- Examples: I am becoming healthier and stronger every day. I am at peace with my past and excited about my future. I am worthy of happiness.

Consistent use of daily affirmations can help individuals build self-confidence, reduce negative self-talk, and create a positive mindset that supports personal growth and well-being.”

Personally I love chanting Om. Humming and singing have also been proven to reduce anxiety and regulate our nervous systems. It also opens the throat chakra to boot!

Prayer has been profound for me as well. This topic deserves its own blog post though :) I’m so grateful to everyone and everything I pray to, including God, Jesus, Buddha (and other enlightened beings), my guardian angels, the archangels, my spirit guides, my higher self, and Mother Nature.

I also offer healing tips in my piece "10 Free Mood Boosts to Lift Your Spirits!"

And to finish off this article, here are some of the affirmations that helped me the most:

-- “I am loved. I am eternal. And I am safe.”

-- “I am worthy of love and acceptance.”

-- “I belong everywhere I am.”

-- “Right here and right now - I am safe.”

-- “I trust myself”

-- “Everything is working out for my highest and greatest good.”

-- “Everything is temporary.”

-- “I’m exactly where I need to be right now.”

-- “This is bigger than me” - That I’m meant to learn soul lessons and to try and help the collective somehow, and that my current situation is happening for reasons beyond my current understanding.

-- “I am loved. I am loving. And I am love.”

-- “I am happy for myself and I am happy for others.” - I didn’t believe this at first so I explored what needed healing for me to believe this. Eventually I did.

-- “I am happy for those with successful and fulfilling careers.” - I’ve been unemployed for some time now, so I had to work on this. But I started believing it. Then I started writing and felt so fulfilled 🙂

-- Lastly, I started practicing love. In my mind, I would give love to the trees, the sun, to loved ones in family photos, to people in the grocery store, to cars that passed by during my walks. I started saying loving thoughts to my body. All of this helped so much; I can’t begin to describe.

I hope some of these mantras and affirmations can help you somehow - if you’re not already practicing them 🙂 And thank you so much for reading this far, and for reading about my story. Writing has been hugely therapeutic and I appreciate anyone and everyone who reads my posts.

I wish you love and blessings on your journey! 🙂

All photos by me, Meli G